Sowing (and Yes I Spelled that Right)

You reap what you sow.

Common little phrase, yet packed with so much meaning. It's pretty self explanatory and it makes sense. After all, if you plant blackberry bushes, chances are you're not gonna find dragon fruits growing instead. I mean it would be cool (I've never actually had one and am dying to do so. Anyone with me on this? ) but the chances of that happening are pretty much...none. But if this phrase is so understandable and simple, why did it take something from a sermon for me to 'get it?'


In the sermon today, I heard something near the end that really struck me: people often sow unfaithfulness and thus reap unhappiness. The key to a happy life isn't where you are (the field) or even circumstances or situations, it's what you sow. If I sow ungratefulness and unfaithfulness, I'm gonna get the fruit of that; an unhappy life. Why has it taken me all of 18 years to see this? I have complained, grumped (is that a word?), and whined about everything from my situation to people. Even little things. Like complaining that I have to go get food from the freezer (but seriously it's really cold out there.)

 Not only have I whined like a five year old about my life and it's everyday complications, but I've thought that if I could just fix this, then my life would be great. If I could just be prettier, if I could just get a boyfriend, if I could just be smarter, if I could just get a job, if I could just.....ALL THESE STUPID, ENDLESS IFS. THEY WON'T MAKE MY LIFE ANY BETTER. Sure, maybe for a time it will easier and more enjoyable, but eventually I'll be right back where I started. Why? Because all I've done is moved to a different field. The seeds of unfaithfulness to God and ungratefulness are still there. They haven't changed. And as we all know, you reap what you sow. Does this mean that I should never change my situation, or keeping with the farm analogy, change my field? No of course not. Often, it can be God's will that I move on or change something. But other times, in fact I would say most of the time, God wants me to be ok with where I am. To sow the rights seeds in the right field.

So do I want a happy life? Yes! But even more importantly, I desire to serve the Lord where I am, in this moment. Even by writing this post. I desire to plant seeds of gratefulness and faithfulness. Complaining about not having a job, whining about chores, and just grumping in general need to be gone. Will I fail? Most definitely. In fact, tomorrow morning I could wake up and just want to bury myself in a hole and hope the world disappears. But no one ever said it was easy, no one ever said I wouldn't fail. And honestly, that's the beauty of Christ. He meets me in my failures and helps me grow. The fact that i'm writing this is testimony to that fact. How could I see that I was planting the wrong seeds unless He first opened my eyes? So from here on out I will (hopefully) be planting (at least a few) right seeds.

A Poison

Sometimes words escape the lips. Words we never really believed, yet somehow said. 
In haste. In anger. But sometimes we mean it. Sometimes we mean every syllable that slips.  
The snubs. The "witty" rudeness. Weeds are better than these; limited in growth. But of these words the same cannot be said.They are oft unchecked. No one sees the wounds they cause.
The pain. The despair.When the tear falls on the pillow, no one is there. None sees why.
Words have a power. A power so strong it kills. But the death is different, deadlier.
It is  long, barely seen. Caused by venom invisible.The sneak, the genius. It know the blinds of men and wields words like one wields swords. Yet the weapon is unseen to bearer. Fierce blades invisible to many but the victim.The syllables break skin, draw blood. Victims cry out, but the walls are too thick. Oh throbbing, aching, poisoning pain. You who wield words be not carefree and careless. Sword bearers never are, so why not the word bearers?

Replacing Hate for Love

I've been thinking about this for a while. I've discussed it with friends and family. And the more I ponder or discuss it, the more I'm convinced I should write about it. No, its not because I think a bunch of people will read it and agree with me. I'm writing this because I feel like it needs to be written; for myself and perhaps anyone else who stumbles across this post. 

When you look at the pictures above, what comes to mind? What words pop in your head when you see those photos? I think of the words anger, disgust and hate. When you look at the above pictures, are you persuaded to believe and accept their message (assuming you were pro-gay before looking at them)? Because I know I'm not. Now, don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying I believe homesexuality is ok. On the contrary, I believe that it is a sin. Marriage should be between one man and one woman. But that doesn't change the fact that there's something seriously wrong with the above pictures. Not only do they utterly fail at convincing anyone of their point, they actually drive people away! Those pictures? All they do is spread the hate, anger, and disgust that they show. Even people who call themselves Christians participate in this. And what are they doing? They themselves are sinning!  While they write and say rude, hurtful and hate-filled  comments about ''thooose sinners," they themselves are sinning. And when their conscience pricks them, they ignore it, burying it deep under the hate.

 Mark 12:31 says "The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Are we showing God's love when we mistreat others? Absolutely not! By slandering  these people, we are losing a chance to show God's love and grace. By hurting them, we tell others that they don't want to be like us, to be a christian. By aligning ourselves as Christians and then going out and spreading hostility, we automatically put all Christians in a box of hate because 

when others look at us, those pictures are all they see. And if that's all you saw of Christianity, would you want to become one?  Sadly, for me the answer is no. If people are looking at Christians and saying "I don't want that" because of our sin, then we, are failing.  Nowadays, christians seem not to be known for love or kindness, but for hate.  Again, I'm not saying being gay is ok.  I'm also not saying that if someone rejects Christianity because it recognizes that  homosexuality is a sin that it's the Christian's fault. What I am saying is that we need to stop spreading hate. This doesn't mean we have to support gay rights, but it does mean that we need to stop having bumper stickers like the one above and stop treating homosexuality like its the worst sin in the world. Being gay isn't the lowest sin; in fact it's just like any other sin. It may have different consequences, but in the end "..all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) All of us have sinned... I kinda feel like that's something we've forgotten in all this chaos of trying to go against the grain. 

 Phil Robertson once said, in reference to gays, "...I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me. We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other." So true. As Christians, we need to have a  balance between accepting homosexuality as ok and spewing hate about them. We need to show the love of Christ . We need to recall that, but for the grace of God, we would be as lost as they. Lastly we need to remember to look in the mirror every once in awhile. Because you know, we have stains too.

Sink to Swim

I was listening to music on my iPod the other day when the song Marching On by One-republic came on.It was during this song that I heard the sentence "I'd sink us to swim." At first, I didn't think anything of it, but then it hit me.

Now I have no idea whether or not the members of one republic are Christian or not, and honestly it's irrelevant at the moment. Whether or not they intended to, one republic showed a deep, important Christian truth with just one sentence "I'd sink us to swim."  You're  probably thinking "uhhhhhhh.... What? How does that have anything to do with Christianity?" Well, plenty, let me explain. If your out  in a boat that starts sinking what do you have to do to survive? Swim to shore obviously. And what does swimming do? It makes you stronger, better, healthier. Experts agree that swimming is one of the best exercises for your body. So when you swim to shore while your boats sinking, your getting stronger. Of course you need to swim pretty often to actually see/get the results, but for this scenario i'll just say that swimming automatically makes you stronger, better, healthier.

If you take this analogy and apply it to life, you'll see the deep message it portrays. Let's say the boat is our happy life, the sinking is trials in our life, and the swimming to shore is our getting through the trials. Putting it this way, it's much easier to see its meaning. Swimming makes us stronger, and so does getting through trials with Christ. You see, to get closer to God, to have a better relationship with him, we sometimes have to go through very difficult times. God sinks us so we can swim, so we can see him better.

I've never had a major trial in my life so I won't not completely understand whatever it is you may be dealing with. But that doesn't change the importance of this message. And while I may have never been through dark times, I have seen others go through them. Right now, my uncle in law is in the
hospital being treated for a brain tumor and cancer. Needless to say, things don't look so great right now. I don't understand why my cousins have to go through this. I honestly don't. His oldest is only 15 and his youngest is around 9. It feels so wrong, they're so young . It doesn't seem fair or right. My heart aches for them; and if it were my dad I know I'd feel a whole lot worse. Again, I'm not gonna pretend that I wouldn't be upset or feel like God isn't being fair if it were my dad. Because, I think that at some point, I would. But it's in times like these that our faith grows. It's times like these that we truly begin relying on God. When we truly grow in our relationship with him. It's hard, it really is. I don't know Gods plan, I don't know why He does what He does. But our job isn't to completely understand. Our job is to simply trust Him. So whatever you're going through, just  remember that God is in control and that He does love us. Sometimes, He sinks us so we can swim.

The Trend: Baggy Shirts/Sweaters

Don't you hate it when you see someone who's wearing a baggy sweater/shirt that they look super cute in? But when you wear something similar you don't look half as good. In fact you kinda look like a hobo who has been living on  the streets for the past month.......Not realllyy the look you were going for. Why do some girls get to be comfortable AND cute? Well for them it may just come naturally, sigh. However, even the *blessed* ones have their tricks and lucky for us, I know them! These tips will help you look fabulous while still being comfortable and warm, a necessity during these winter months. 


First things first, you must have balance in your outfit. Please, please don't wear a baggy sweater with baggy jeans. Just...no. It looks off because everything is wide and ballooning out. The absolute best thing to pair with a baggy sweatshirt/t-shirt is skinny jeans. These jeans provide balance to the big top and keep you from looking frumpy. If you don't have skinny jeans, try for some tight, straight leg jeans; they're pretty similar to skinny jeans and are a better option than baggy or flared jeans.

Another key component of looking good in these tops is color. Trust me, this is not something you want to forget. It's important to get a sweater/shirt in a color that makes you look good. Why? because the right color changes everything! For example, I know that stark white washes me out,  makes me look like I just came back from the dead, and highlights my facial problems (like my uneven skin tone). By contrast, a more cream white makes my skin look healthy, alive, and evens my skin tone. Which means I instantly look better and all without a stitch of makeup! So choose a top in the right shade because it can make a world of difference. In the picture below, see how shiny and healthy her hair looks not to mention her skin? Of course, the difference between your right colors and your bad ones will be more obvious in real life.

When purchasing baggy shirts and sweaters, you want to make sure that the style is still relatively flattering and cute. You don't want it to look like you just grabbed you grandpa's ancient shirt and threw it on. Make sure the print is cute (if it has one) and that it isn't outrageously large. (Note: for baggy shirts, having it a little tighter around the arms would add some interest)

Makeup is essential to pretty much anything, but especially with this look. you want to keep it along the more neutral color side of things, it fits with the comfy, earthy feel. Black and browns are your best bet. Because you're going for a comfy, casual look, I would stick with eyeliner, mascara, foundation, chap stick or light lip gloss, and maybe some (light) eyeshadow.  Whatever you do keep it simple and light and make sure you don't over do it. The more makeup, the more likely you are to ruin the look.

Last but not least, hair. Hair is the crowning jewel: it can make or break an outfit. It didn't take me long to pin the best hairstyles for this look (although almost any hairstyle will work). My top faves are: the high (messy) bun and waves or at least some texture. These hairstyles add to the overall look of comfortably chic. They go with the earthy and casual, but stylish, look that these shirts give.

Hot Heuz Product Review

If you go to the hair section on Pinterest, it won't be long before you see picture after picture of hair that's dyed/highlighted and unnatural hair color like blue. It doesn't take long for many to succumb to the trend (unless you're adamantly against it). However, for those of us who are less brave to go for a permanent look, or who want to test out a color, there are other options than dye. One of them being the popular hair chalking. I was looking at ways to do this when I came across the product called hot huez and decided to try it out. Below is a tutorial/review of the product.






Hot huez price: Approx $10
Where to buy: Amazon, Sally's beauty supply, Walmart,









To use this product you need only two things; the product itself and spray in/leave in conditioner. Trust me the conditioner is very necessary; water won't work because it doesn't hold the chalk in properly. I just used Ion lightweight anti frizz spray in/leave in conditioner.

The package comes with four colors: purple, green, pink, and blue. As you can see, I've used a lot of the purple one. Before you apply it, make sure your hair is brushed!











The first step is to choose a small section of hair and then spray it liberally with the conditioner. Handy tip: wear a t-shirt that you wouldn't mind ruining because it doesn't take much for the chalk to end up all over the place.









Next, take the applicator and, holding it tight, slide it down your hair slowly. Make sure the cushion side of the applicator is on the inside of your hair because whichever side you put the actual chalk on will be the most visible. Tip: you probably need to apply the chalk to your hair 2-3 times.

 Here's the green!














Below is the completed look incorporating all the colors. Green and pink are on the left and blue and purple are on the right. Pink is the most vibrant, then blue and purple, and green is the most difficult to see. (Probably because of the lighting)

My review: There are some pros and cons to this product. First, I like how easy and simple it is; no heat required (like in normal hair chalking) Second, I like that it does color my hair and that it comes out in one wash. Alsothe texture of the product after applied is surprisingly ok. However, like every product, it has its cons. (Note most of the cons have to do with the fact that it's chalk and as such it's gonna have problems.) First of all, the color isn't extremely vibrant and it fades easily. I had to reapply all of them at least once. Also, you cant really brush your hair afterwards without the risk of the color fading. And the darker your hair is, the harder it will be to see the color. Overall, I think the product is ok. When you compare it to hair chalking with regular chalk, it is better, but there are better options out there such as the Jerome color hair spray. Hot Huez is good for just playing around or testing to see if you want to go permanent, but for long lasting wear, it's not the best. 

 I give it 3 out of 5 stars.

Let it Go

It's a sad moment when you lose a friend. It hurts, so very much. There's nothing quite like the pain you feel when you know you and her will never be the same again. You'll never laugh together the way you used to, you'll never be as close. And the closer you were, the harder it is. I know the feeling . In fact I'm experiencing it right now. Why? Because I lost a friend today.


Friendship is a beautiful, God given gift. It's something to be treasured, guarded and not let go of easily. We all desire friendships that are strong and friends that are encouraging. We want a friendship that's like Sam and Frodo's in Lord of the Rings.  Sitting and staring at the tv screen watching that movie, I see what true friendship really is and I want that. I want to be like Sam who sticks by Frodo even when he is being a jerk and a pain in the butt. Sam is loyal and just there for Frodo during the good and the bad. Simply put, he is a friend. I want to be that kind of friend, but I can't be friends like that with everyone, which is why I made the decision today to let one go.

I didn't want to, believe me I've tried to avoid it, but sometimes you do just have to let that friend go. People lose friends all the time whether because they moved or they just drifted apart. However, there is the occasional time when you have to make a conscious decision to move on. Making the decision to not be friends with someone is a very serious matter and shouldn't be taken lightly. I've been thinking about it for a while and came to the sad choice that it was best for me to end the relationship. If anyone else is going through this difficult process, I urge you to really think about why you're doing it. That's so very important. You don't want to ruin a friendship because of a trivial matter.

I came to my decision mostly because the relationship wasn't good for me anymore. If the person you are friends with doesn't encourage you, it's probably time to rethink the friendship. This person wasn't encouraging me at all. Instead she was tearing me down with hurtful side comments. Now she didnt do this on purpose, however I've found it more and more difficult to be friends with her. It's hard to be friends with someone who keeps saying discouraging, hurtful things. That's not a healthy friendship, at least not for me. I'm a very sensitive person and so staying friends with this person would just harm me instead of help me.  I need some time to breathe, to get my bearings. And this hurts, it really does. But I know it gets better and maybe some day we'll be friends again . So I encourage anyone going through the pain of losing a friend to try and look past it. To focus on the friendships you do have.To go out and make new friends and to just let it go.