Sowing (and Yes I Spelled that Right)

You reap what you sow.

Common little phrase, yet packed with so much meaning. It's pretty self explanatory and it makes sense. After all, if you plant blackberry bushes, chances are you're not gonna find dragon fruits growing instead. I mean it would be cool (I've never actually had one and am dying to do so. Anyone with me on this? ) but the chances of that happening are pretty much...none. But if this phrase is so understandable and simple, why did it take something from a sermon for me to 'get it?'


In the sermon today, I heard something near the end that really struck me: people often sow unfaithfulness and thus reap unhappiness. The key to a happy life isn't where you are (the field) or even circumstances or situations, it's what you sow. If I sow ungratefulness and unfaithfulness, I'm gonna get the fruit of that; an unhappy life. Why has it taken me all of 18 years to see this? I have complained, grumped (is that a word?), and whined about everything from my situation to people. Even little things. Like complaining that I have to go get food from the freezer (but seriously it's really cold out there.)

 Not only have I whined like a five year old about my life and it's everyday complications, but I've thought that if I could just fix this, then my life would be great. If I could just be prettier, if I could just get a boyfriend, if I could just be smarter, if I could just get a job, if I could just.....ALL THESE STUPID, ENDLESS IFS. THEY WON'T MAKE MY LIFE ANY BETTER. Sure, maybe for a time it will easier and more enjoyable, but eventually I'll be right back where I started. Why? Because all I've done is moved to a different field. The seeds of unfaithfulness to God and ungratefulness are still there. They haven't changed. And as we all know, you reap what you sow. Does this mean that I should never change my situation, or keeping with the farm analogy, change my field? No of course not. Often, it can be God's will that I move on or change something. But other times, in fact I would say most of the time, God wants me to be ok with where I am. To sow the rights seeds in the right field.

So do I want a happy life? Yes! But even more importantly, I desire to serve the Lord where I am, in this moment. Even by writing this post. I desire to plant seeds of gratefulness and faithfulness. Complaining about not having a job, whining about chores, and just grumping in general need to be gone. Will I fail? Most definitely. In fact, tomorrow morning I could wake up and just want to bury myself in a hole and hope the world disappears. But no one ever said it was easy, no one ever said I wouldn't fail. And honestly, that's the beauty of Christ. He meets me in my failures and helps me grow. The fact that i'm writing this is testimony to that fact. How could I see that I was planting the wrong seeds unless He first opened my eyes? So from here on out I will (hopefully) be planting (at least a few) right seeds.

A Poison

Sometimes words escape the lips. Words we never really believed, yet somehow said. 
In haste. In anger. But sometimes we mean it. Sometimes we mean every syllable that slips.  
The snubs. The "witty" rudeness. Weeds are better than these; limited in growth. But of these words the same cannot be said.They are oft unchecked. No one sees the wounds they cause.
The pain. The despair.When the tear falls on the pillow, no one is there. None sees why.
Words have a power. A power so strong it kills. But the death is different, deadlier.
It is  long, barely seen. Caused by venom invisible.The sneak, the genius. It know the blinds of men and wields words like one wields swords. Yet the weapon is unseen to bearer. Fierce blades invisible to many but the victim.The syllables break skin, draw blood. Victims cry out, but the walls are too thick. Oh throbbing, aching, poisoning pain. You who wield words be not carefree and careless. Sword bearers never are, so why not the word bearers?